Still Searching

The life goals should be simple and straightforward in order to have a clear idea of what plans to follow every day. Still the search is going on, this is very complex to comprehend. I feel like my future goals are pragmatic and unique, so it is giving me motivation, but quite so often I think too much about the accomplishments that come with it that I get lost and do nothing.
I am currently a game dev and doing good enough for myself. Its actually much more that I could have expected in the practical sense. But now that I have spent some time in game dev, my views have changed a lot in terrms of programming and problem solving.  
Man I am 25 WTF,

I am going to be 26 this year and what have I accomplished yet? Nothing. There are 120 days left and I will be 26 then. This is giving me serious headache.

Well now that I cannot change it.

I love to write about myself everyday. I would be re-reading these articles in the future. Sometimes there is a very strong feeling to write something for some personal welfare.

Life goasls are so easy to prepare but they are so hard to accomplish. In the most basic of accomplishments I feel very good. They satisfy me to a long point. But the passion to upgrade still remains. While going through a lot of philosophies I have learned a very little. My night is always regretful, because I dont cover the topics which I should be learning. But Now I am deciding that I should keep these things away from my writings. My wriiting should be both a formal and informal way of coming up with new ideas and exploring myself, learning myself. 

The worst thing which I do is that I waste my mornings a lot. The morning is when I am full of energy yet I am not able to uncover such aspects. 

Still searching for the idea that can uncover certain aspects of my life for me. Like: How could I work on a certain thing for 6 hours straight? , How I should not lose the motivation and keep consistent or How could I adapt myself to dynamic conditions and still keep learning?. I feel lost and obscure but that propels me to learn more about life periodically.

Its so hard to even spare some time to write about myself. Its going to be 3 AM and my detrimental thoughts are putting me down. The above paraghraph illustrates how amazed and depressed I am on the fact that I am turning 26. How about now, MAN I am just 35 days from turning 27. Over the last year I felt that I have done some things good and some bad. In order to grow in life one must be aware that the days are forwarding with lightspeed.
Time just doesn't allow me to take comfort. It just goes away. I feel that i am becoming a serious adult, something which I am frightened of. Maybe I am become more relaxed, but this relaxed attitude is already preventing me from adventure. I must remind myslef everñ single time with my phone in hand that I am wasting the time. 

With every second my phone in hand, that can be utilised by something as simple as watching educational videos in Youtube. How can I be so confident of myself that i can do this, I can implement whatever is being Implemented in that video. 

DISCUSSIONS ON AI::
I personally feel that I can learn a lot of new things in AI. My programming journey can be enhanced a lot by using AI. I can create a lot of projects of different kinds using this approach. Some of the points where i can properly utilise the AI are :

• Informing myself everyday of the dynamic personality I am by giving commands to AI that let me be a human first and create ideas and organic thoughts and AI can help to properly integrate and add the points that can enhance the capabilities of such things
• I must understand the underlying technology and mechanism behind every peice of tech, whether it is software or hardware. AI can manage to extract out the info and research papers(maybe?) regarding the topics.
• AI can push me to enrich my coding standards and give me design ideas as my project size increases. It can help me with scripting, creating make files for my classes, etc.
• I would love if ChatGPT can help me with most of the commands. I know there are a lot others as well, but sticking to one can help declutter the other AI tools menace. 
• AI should help me to push my boundaries in a physical and mental way. I should be performing better than yesterday. I should not be relaible on AI for most of the times.

So, some updates from the 7th of July 2025, I am pretty comfortable doing mediocre things and just "living". I am in a such a state of life, where nothing feels much interesting to me anymore. The "energy" is so complicated, I am collecting a lot of it, but majority goes to waste. My head hurts a lot when i get less sleep, but I have to wake uo another day somehow. One of the biggest tasks to accomplish to get asleep before midnight, but its just impossible for me. There shall be some reasons behind this as well. Will take more time to research on the topic sometimes later in this doc.

How do i write this again? My places have changed a lot but I am still searching for context. The reading habits are slowly dimishing, I am neither too focused on works. There has to be a revamp, my luxury needs to be stopped as soon.